I always felt so anxious about getting old, about running out of time. About doing all I can while I’m young now, because I won’t have the chance later. Using other people’s twisted and misinformed regrets as my point of reference, I thought that this was the only way to be.
Act with haste, or get left behind.
Pink Floyd lamented; “No one told you when to run, you missed the starting gun.”
So much so, that ‘Time’ became the soundtrack of my life, upon much reflection on the desperate sadness of lost time “hanging on in quiet desperation is the English way,” and deciding to rebel, as I had against all of the world’s stupid ideals, and consequently trying to do everything at once, now.
But as the old saying goes, (and I hate to admit it), patience is a virtue.
We are given what we need to deal with at every moment. Having time by your side, instead of chasing it, will see that you don’t have to go back to square one, to the start of the song.
You can listen to it, enjoy it, learn from it, and not be stuck on repeat.
The source of my borderline insanity and dissatisfaction with life in such a matter-of-factly way, has stemmed from the outright ignorance and disinterest of modern society, in finding any sort of deeper meaning in life whatsoever, deeper than the bullshit 9-5 money chase - and for what felt like eternity during my green, teenage years I couldn't find anyone that shared 1% of my fucking panic.
Travelling and getting your head out of your asshole changes things; it became glaringly obvious that the rest of the world is also panicking, also searching for answers.
Now there's a sense of urgency lingering in mainstream conversations, and even if people aren't necessarily doing much, the fact that it's cool to care about the planet is FUCKING HUGE. People are starting to get itchy, pacing back and forth in their lounge rooms, throwing questions and cries for help and praying to 'energy'.
With a touch of urgency and a touch of history - the aim is to remain in the now.
And that's tough, because investigating into our past has never been more important, in my opinion.
How far has Graham Hancock pushed the disdainful standard of his field back into light, back into question? How to appropriately to give thanks to Freddy Silva, Robert Bauval, John Anthony West, and so many more for dedicating their lives for ground-breaking work, upon which now we may walk?
Even at the core of real-world discoveries, archaeologists have been quick to smack a definitive label with no room for new theories or ideas on their findings, which is an irrational standpoint to take when we look at how little evidence they have to go on. Not only that - the entire understanding of our past as a collective, as a race, has not been expanded as the ambiguity surrounding it demands, has not been investigated truthfully as we would rather carry the medal of achievement and ‘solvency’ of a theory, rather than accept it’s suggestive, even mystical nature and question the very basis of what our society is built upon.
We desperately try to label and codify everything new - new scientific discoveries, experiences and emotions that bend the borders of the box, straining to form a bizarre new shape. We beat it back into our neat little square with diminutive ‘definitions’ acting like we always know what it is, because if we didn’t - it’s chaos.
The Unknown - a phenomena that has driven human beings to the edge of extremes; the mouths of volcanoes, the crown of the Earth and the fringes of insanity.
In this wonderful quote by Johnathan Black, in his book The Secret History of the World, we feel an air of curiosity free of opinion and free of fear...
“So although this book can be read just as a record of the absurd things people have believed, an epic phantasmagoria, a cacophony of irrational experiences, I hope that by the end some readers will hear some harmonies and perhaps also sense a slight philosophical undertow, which is the suggestion that it may all be true.”
Does it make sense, in this life of ours, to claim to know its' beginnings and ends, its' curvatures and crevices, to deem anything as fact or folly?
Why make assumptions about the future, then, especially if they're reductive and pessimistic?
Patience and curiosity are our lifelines.
Melt into the magic of the everyday.